


Wrath of John

by areeskimosreal



Category: Peter Kay's Car Share (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-10-11 10:43:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17445395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/areeskimosreal/pseuds/areeskimosreal
Summary: A confrontation between John's mum and Kayleigh is overheard by a fuming John





	Wrath of John

**Author's Note:**

> My own little personal head canon, Joan isn't as nice as I've represented her in my previous works. And John's dad George is very much alive.

"Basically what she said was that I've to take a few weeks off, I've to relax and try to keep my feet up, they're going to arrange for the district nurse or health visitor to come around every couple of days to check my blood pressure, and if it doesn't get any higher I don't need admitted “

“ Well that's good news anyway, everything else okay love ?”

“ Baby's fine John, its mum that's falling to bits “

“ Get away with you , your gorgeous, nowt wrong wi ye other than being pregnant,  it were you that said to me “ I'm not Ill, John I'm pregnant “ remember?”

“ That were before the bloody headaches, preeclampsia its called, I'm lucky though it can be much worse than mine apparently, I've to go back to the doctor on Friday, we can go together eh?”

“ Deffo, love I'm gutted I couldn't go with you this morning, I'm on the way down now, should get home in about two or three hours , I'll pop home before I go to work “

“ How was Aberdeen? “

“ Grey, its rained for three days solid, and I don't understand the local accent “

“ Racist “

“ No I'm not, Even Fraser doesn't get it and he's from Edinburgh “

…………….

“ Kayleigh you there ?”

………………………

“ Kayleigh? “

……………………….

“ KAY…………….”

“ Alright John don't bloody shout I can hear you “

“ What happened there love ?”

“ I was putting my earphones in so I can talk to you and make my breakfast “

“ You could have warned me “

“ Stop being such an old woman John”

“ Where's your phone then ?”

“ In me bra “

“ Not much space in there “

“ Cheeky fish, haven't heard you complaining “

“ You never will “ he chuckled “ What you havin ?”

“ Bacon butties and copious amounts of tea “

“ Sounds nice “

“ Well what was the course on this time John, usual crowd was it ?”

As John was regaling Kayleigh with the story of who was and who wasn't at the training course, Joan, John's mum was letting herself into the house. She could hear Kayleigh talking,  she didn't care if she had visitors or not, she was going in. She walked into the kitchen, Kayleigh was making tea and had her back to her, deep in conversation,

” Giggling at something stupid no doubt , probably talking to one of her vacuous friends, or that odious sister of hers Mandy or Mindy “ Joan thought to herself “

Kayleigh turned around , screamed, dropped her plate and cup in fright as she threw her hands up to her mouth. She staggered back against the countertop.

“ Kayleigh you okay ?” John asked.” Kayleigh love, you okay?”

Kayleigh's mug landed at Joan's feet, it didn't smash, but the contents flew out and landed on Joan's cream trouser leg.

John turned up his car speaker trying to catch anything.

“ Kayleigh ?” he shouted.” are you there love ?”

“ You stupid little bitch , these are ruined now, look at them “

“ Mum is that you ?” John asked “ Mum , Kayleigh,  somebody bloody talk to me eh !”

Neither Joan or Kayleigh heard him , Kayleigh's earphones had fallen out when she had raised her arms, she couldn't hear , but John could, the mic was still working, working perfectly in fact. John was party to each and every word, the protagonists uttered.

“ You, you scared me half to death Joan, what you doing here ? “ Kayleigh asked trying to regain some composure.

For some reason John didn't know, he started recording this call.

“ These are ruined, you clumsy bitch “ Joan repeated.

“ You frightened me, that's why I dropped them , it wasn't meant Joan “

“ Missus Redmond to you “

“ You what ?”

“ I'd prefer you called me Missus Redmond “

John could feel his hackles rise.

“ Okay then Missus Redmond “ Kayleigh responded “ it was an accident”

“ Huh, you're prone to them love aren't you ?” Joan sneered.

“ Pardon ? “

“ Accidents,  you're prone to them aren't you?, at least this one has only ruined my trousers, not my son's life “

“Muuuuum” John roared himself hoarse into his bluetooth mic “ don't you fuckin dare”

“ Ruined his life ?”

“ That little accident of yours, has ruined him “ Joan pointed at Kayleigh's bump.

“ No it has…….”

“ Come on love you're what 37, 38?”

“ I'm 36 actually “

“ Really 36, well let's just say I'm not as gullible as John “

“ Gullible, how gullible?”

“ You must have spent the last what 20 plus years not getting pregnant, then boom, along comes my John, own house , nice car, good earner, nice pension, a chance of going places, you date a few months, and next thing you're up the duff, well played love, you must have flung yourself under him like a crash mat “

“ It was an accident, we’re glad it happened but it was an accident, John knows that “

“ Like I said love , he's gullible, but he'll wisen up someday, and when he does you'll be out on your ear madam, mark my words”

“ I love John and he loves me, I don't give a toss what you think Joan, when this happened “ she looked down at bump” we discussed all the options, we, John and I talked it over and decided this is what we wanted “

“ You should have gotten rid when you had the chance” Joan said venomously.

“ What , how could you even think that ?”

“ Might not be too late, I won't ever accept that one as my grandchild, won't be welcome love, you or it”

“ Get out “ Kayleigh was reaching the end of her temper, and she knew it.

“ You going to throw me out of my sons house are you ?”

“ I said get out, you can either walk or I'll throw you out physically, I don't care either way”

“ Really, you think John would thank you for throwing his mum out of his house”

“ Our house , we live together “

“ For now, he’ll get wise to you, eventually it'll get through to him how you trapped him, and then bye bye Kayleigh “

Kayleigh walked over to Joan smiling , Joan looked on puzzled, before she could react Kayleigh had her in a stiff armlock, She then unceremoniously marched Joan to the front door, as she reached it she stopped.

“ Get out, or so help me I'll really throw you out on your arse”

Joan knew when to fight and when to back down, she had no illusions, Kayleigh was more than capable physically of throwing her out, and she could see the barely contained rage burning behind her hazel eyes.

“ I'm going but you wait till John hears”

“ Don't you ever come back when I'm in Joan, never ever “ Kayleigh hissed through clenched teeth.

“ John will get to know about this love, mark my words”

“ He already does ,” John said crying, sitting in a layby on the A9. “ he already does mum” He sat staring  at his phone display, his knuckles white, such was his grip on the steering wheel.

Kayleigh sat at the kitchen table and cried,  cried for a long time, cried until her phone ran out of charge, and even after that.

 

“ That's our John's ringtone ain't it, you not gonna answer love “ George, John's dad asked his wife.

“ I'll phone him back later “

“ Why later ?, you're not doing anything now”

“ I said later okay “

“ Okay love fine “

Her phone rang several times in quick succession.

“ It must be important …..., Joan .”

“ What George? “

“ You're miles away what's up wi ye, I said it must be important,  John's phoning again”

“ George will you leave off ?”

With that she stormed out into the garden, phone in hand

“ I only bloody asked “ he chuckled

Suddenly the house phone rang ,

“ Eh up ,” he said looking at the caller display “ John, I hope Kayleigh and the baby are okay “

He answered the persistent ringing.

“ Hello John son how you do…………..”

“ Is she there ?” John asked abruptly, George knew his son well enough to know he was angry, very angry.

“ Who son ?”

“ Mum is she there ?”

“ Why ?”

“ Just fuckin answer me is she there ?” John shouted.

“ Hey you, mind who you're talking to son”

“ Is   she in   the house   with you ?

George knew when John spoke slowly, with that amount of anger in his voice, he was close to ballistic and took some careful handling,

“ John son calm down , okay tell me what's happened and me and your mam can talk it through okay,”

“ So she is there then, right “ at that the phone went dead.

“ John, John……….”

“ Is he coming over here now ?”

George spun around , surprised at Joan's voice he hadn't heard her come back in.

“ He's going ballistic Joan, what's happened,  what did you do ?”

“ I've been a bit stupid , I went to John's this morning and ………”

“ He told you not to , Kayleigh wasn't well, he specifically told you not to go , no wonder he's angry “

“ That's not all, I guess she must have told him “

“ Told him what ?”

Joan told George a sanitised version of what had happened.

“ Oh for fuck sake Joan, why didn't you do what he asked, no wonder he's angry”

They heard a diesel car pull up outside.

“ You sit on your arse Joan, I'll try to defuse this”

George was heading down the path as John headed up it ,

“ Get back in the car John “

“ Inside is she ?”

John went to push past George, George deliberately blocked his way.

“ In the car John “

John didn't want to fight his father , but his mum couldn't go around treating people like she treated Kayleigh and not hear a few home truths.

“ John , please get in the car “

“ But “

“ Go , I'll come with you, we'll talk you and me okay “

George watched John clench and unclench his fists a vein in his head throbbing, always a telltale sign of a ready to explode John.

“ Do you know what she said, what she did?”

“ I've heard her side, you tell me Kayleigh's side eh ?”

“ I haven't even spoken to Kayleigh dad, I heard it all”

John lifted his phone out of his pocket .

“ Every fuckin word dad , every single one “

“ C'mon son I'll drive “

George got in the drivers side, John thought about running into the house, but his respect for his father won over, with one last glaring look at the front window, he climbed in the passenger side.

“ Don't drive off dad, listen to this please, please dad listen “

“ Okay son I'll listen “

John played what had been recorded, hearing it a second time was worse, John broke down in tears, George held his son tight, truly lost for words.

“ I won't play it to the end, the last 15 minutes is only Kayleigh crying,  I couldn't stand it.”

“ I can understand why you're angry son, honest to christ, what was she thinking, can't make excuses John, even apologising for her wouldn't feel right, I honestly don't know what to say to you”

“ You don't need to say anything dad , its fucking her in there it's her that's at fault” John turned and looked into his dad's tear filled eyes, “ I'm ashamed of her dad, how bad is that eh?, I'm utterly ashamed that she's my mum, disgusted in fact “

“ What do we do?”

“What dad ?”

“ Do you want to go in and have a real humdinger ?“ George nodded towards the house “ cause I couldn't really stop you could I, not if you were determined, but there would be no winners “

“ I'm so close to hating her , so fuckin close “

“ John, sit here for 5 minutes okay, I'm going inside I'll be back okay ?, you need to sit here okay ?”

John sat glaring at the house .

“ JOHN”

“ Yes okay 5 minutes “

George went inside , his face had always shown his feelings, Joan saw hurt this time.

“ What lies did that little bitch tell him eh ?”

“ Shut up Joan!”

“ Geor………..”

“ I said shut up, you've said enough, where's John's house keys? “

She nodded to the mantlepiece,  George marched over and violently snatched them up.

“ What did she tell him, what lies ?”

“ No fucking lies mum none “ John's voice boomed.

Joan and George turned to the living room door, framed there was a tearful John, in his hand his phone, the conversation Joan and Kayleigh had had playing at full volume.

“ This is all I've heard mum, but it's enough, will I fast forwards to the bit where she cries for quarter of an hour will ah, eh will ah ?, you'll like that bit “

“ John I ……..”

“ Don't say a fuckin thing mam, not one single effin thing, how could you, how could you eh ?”

“ She's not the right one for you ……..”

“ Who are you to decide that eh ?”

“ John ………” Joan walked towards an increasingly irate John, “.......son”

“ She's shown me more love in these few months than you have in 39 years”

“ That's not true John “ Joan exclaimed

“ Say it now then “

“ You know I do John “

“ Tell me “

“ This is silly John sit down a………”

“ Go on say it , tell me now “

Joan looked at George , she could see him silently plead with her, she could read him like a book .

“ I won't be blackmailed by….”

“ Knew you couldn't, bye mum don't bother phoning, I'll see you around “

“ Don't you dare”

“ Dare what mother ?” John spat the word mother out as he walked closer to Joan.

George consciously got between Joan and John, lifting his jacket off the chair .

“ Let's check Kayleigh's alright John, that's paramount here, her and the baby, she can wait” he pointedly said staring at Joan.

John was glaring at Joan, who now at last had the decency to look shame faced.

 

“Best tell Kayleigh I'm with you John, she's had enough surprise visitors today eh ?”

John phoned home when he was near and told Kayleigh to put the kettle on for him and his dad.

Kayleigh wondered if Joan had told George what had happened, and if he’d told John. She'd soon find out.

She watched the little Fiat come in the drive, John waved and George gave her one of his big hearty smiles, John was so like his dad, and just as loving.

As John hugged and kissed Kayleigh,  George went into the Kitchen to make tea, as John and Kayleigh sat in the lounge George came in with tea, he winked at John.

“ Here love “ George handed Kayleigh a set of keys,” Joan won't need them , she won't be back unless I'm with her “

“ How ?”  

“ I heard it all on my phone love” , John said getting down on the floor in front of Kayleigh

“ I'm so sorry Kayleigh love” George added, “ there is nothing I can say to justify or excuse what she said, and she doesn't speak for me love, you and me little grand kiddie there will always be welcome in my house, okay “ he squeezed Kayleigh's shoulder.

“ I'm sorry John “ Kayleigh said starting to cry “ I didn't mean it to happen”

“ Hey, hey it weren't your fault , okay, it was all me mam, you did nowt “

“ I threw her out John, your mum “

“ If I'd been here I'd have done it sooner than you did”

“ Me too “ said George bringing a tray of biscuits in.” In fact I wish I'd seen it, would you really have flung her out onto the drive ?”

Kayleigh nodded wiping her eyes

“ Excellent “ George said.

“ You staying here tonight dad?”

“ What and play gooseberry?, no thanks, I phoned Paul from the kitchen, he’ll pick me up at 5, I'll kip there, besides he likes a drink, and I need one”

“ You letting Joan know ?” Kayleigh enquired.

“ As if, let her stew overnight I say”

 

The following Sunday, dinner at George and Joan's was a strained affair,  John and Kayleigh's bubbly presence conspicuous in its absence. Rose as usual was the one to seize the bull by the horns.

“ You were wrong Joan” she suddenly said breaking the silence.

“ About what ?” Joan replied a lot more lightheartedly than she felt.

“ About what you said and did to our Kayleigh, that's what “

“ You know ?”

“ We all know “ Claire added, and we all think you're wrong, “ not that it's your business but Kayleigh was on antibiotics for a strep infection, and it interfered with her pill, that's how the “ accident “happened, that's how Sophie happened too as it happens”

“ Well I still think she got pregnant to trap him”

“ Is that how you got dad is it mum ?”

“ What did you say Paul Redmond ?”

“ You were pregnant with me, when you got married, weren't you, don't lie mum, the dates don't work out, you celebrate your anniversary a month earlier than, than you should “

“ We do no such thing “

“ Mum, John and I found your wedding certificate years ago, he took great delight in slagging me off about it , I know it's true”

“ Tell him George “

“ You're right Paul, she was “ George said looking at Joan and shrugging.

“ Give it up Joan, you know he's right” Rose added,” the games up”

“ You bloody hypocrite” Claire said shaking her head.

“ So how did you deal with that happening Nana? “ Paul enquired of his octogenarian grandmother.

“ I didn't make your dad choose between me and the mother of his child, unlike your mother I would be afraid of him choosing her, that's why my son's at this table,  and one of hers isn't. I'd rather live with the consequences of his mistake, rather than make my own “

 

There was a palpable silence at the table as all eyes fell on a pensive Joan.

 

“ Excuse me “ Joan said leaving the table in tears.

She lay awake for hours that night, thinking on Rose's words. Rose was right she’d forced John to choose, and she hadn't been prepared for him choosing Kayleigh. After the way she had behaved she knew she would probably never get him back, and for the first time in her life she had regrets, she cried herself to sleep.


End file.
